an emmieshouse x(o)mas

MERRY CHRISTY BB'S!!!!!!
Every year emmieshouse gets crafty and makes her family rly self involved gifts that they may or may not throw away.

lets take a retrospective look into what christmas w emmie is rly like. <3

Christy 2006
This is the year that I started going to a small liberal arts college.
re: feminism.

Christy 2007
This is the year that I thought being a "neon hipster" was totally rad.
re: rave cat.

Christy 2008
This is the year that I went abroad to "find myself"
re: scottish vampire w dikey haircut : /

Christy 2009
This is the year when I totally "lost my shit," stopped sleeping, and became just a mere shadow of my past life/ childhood.
re: senior thesis lol ; )


aNd FiNaLlY....

CHRISTY 2K10
I wanted this years gift to represent my new found "urban" side because I now live in Brooklyn.
However, I also wanted to show my parents that I am not a selfish twentysomething bitch and I still luv my dawgs/dogs even though I never call them (my dogs) because I'm too busy getting fucked up.
re: the morally hungover dawgnapper.

WELCOME 2 MY LIFE.

   

 ALL YOU NEED 2 MAKE A SWEET 'IN MEMORIAM' VID IS:

1 - Sick tune

1 - iPhone

1 - FB prof

PLEASE PLAY AT MY FUNeral  

Jesse Christ

Jesse Christ.
the boy next door.
the bad boy.
the sensitive guy.
the saviour.

wuttabod.

AWWW!!! King of the Jews...and my heart ; )

OMJ (O my Jesse)


Which Jesse would u marry, fuck, kill?: 

Jesse Christ                         Uncle Jesse                  Jesse Eisenberg 

new america//fake books that i wish were real

I hate coming 2 the school it makes me angry

Been thinking a lot about JNCO's today

sweet tush. 

TRU LUV.

BOOGERS.

WE ALL GOT 'EM!!!

MAD GRABS: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

MAD GRABS is the section of emmieshouse where we look at prolific American Cinema in its most primal/ visceral/ sensual state...the screen grab. yow!!!!! lets do this thing.  Oh and we would like 2 thank instant netflixxx for making this possible. their catalogue is FLAWLESS. this would not be possible without them.

today's MAD GRABS features stills from none other than "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York"--the sequal to "Home Alone"...the feel good christmas flick in which a precocious youngster is forgotten at home because he was being a dick to everyone even though he thought that everyone else was being a dick to him.  The aforementioned precocious youngster, kevin mccallister, spends the rest of the film ransacking the house finding out his family's "dirty little secrets", eating a lot of junk food, questioning his sexuality,  partying with michael jordan, and generally fucking around while 2 perverts watch him. its just about the best movie ever. JUST ABOUT... could HA2: Lost in New York b even better? lets take a look.

       

          you know a movie is fucking perfect when "the talkboy" is used as a major plot device

               

                        "the cousins"--new indie music sensation 

RAWR. little Culkin holding it down. Oscar worthy surprise face, bb. mad subtle/ understated

KEVVIN!!!!!!!



Rob Schneider guest stars in HA2 looking generally creepy as fuck

WABAM!!! FRUIT STRIPE 4 U BITCH!  $UCKIT!!!!

Donald Trump makes a cameo. He is impressed by the precocious one's "go-getter attitude"

the allegory for pedophilia in the franchise still reigns supreme. 

                          

worst part about New York? all the spooky hookers!

KIDS RULE! and they will plot ur death if u fuck w them : / 

ZOINKS BRO!!!!

This is the point in the movie where Joe Pesci Stops speaking in actual words

                                      Which "scream" is better?

SMIZE BITCH!!!!!  u better work!

Lolwtf?

thanks @realreeddunlea

MUSIC MUNDAY// Twin Twuesday// CMJ ANNOUNCEMENT

Hey everybody!!!! with CMJ barely a week away emmieshouse has A LOT of work 2 do!!! our super exclusive practically secret showcase is going 2 be killer!!!! guess its time 2 start planning it??? god. that sounds like a lot of work/ v little fun...uggggh lets just very vaguely brainstorm for now.

oh god...where to begin????

A THEME. WE NEED A THEME. all good parties are themed right? christmas, halloween, libertarian. all sick themes.

hmmm what about "Twins"...yeah...you know....like fucking twins...you know like that creepy kid who looks exactly like that other creepy kid.

"thats not a theme" you say? well. hear me out 4 a sec.

so CMJ is all about the hawtest/ freshest new sounds/ music right? well it seems that a couple hawt/fresh indie bands got the "twins" memo.  coincidence?? naaaaah b.

TWIN SISTER

TWIN SHADOW

they come right after one another on ur itunes so why not have them come right after one another at ur cmjs??? THEY WILL BE OUR HEADLINER(S) ...twin sister then twin shadow...ladies foyyyst ; )

then we're gonna need an opener...we were hoping 2 go a liiiiittle bit more mainstream on this one.

who better than hong kong pop sensation duo TWINS ??

The twins of "Twins" aren't actually twins which is like a total mind fuck if u ask me. There names are Charlene Choi and Gillian Chung and not only are they chart topping pop stars but they are also actresses (twinned talents!!!).  Sadly the duo broke up in 2008 after sum S-C-A-N-D-A-L-O-U-S photos of Gillian were leaked...she was getting v. down and dirty with some other hawt asian celeb named BoBo. now, emmieshouse is a classy/ kiddie friendly cranny of the internet so we will not post the pictures but we will politely link to another blog that does ; * 

we were gonna have tegan and sara--twin lesbian indie popper panty droppers--play but they kinda started sucking a while ago. so nvm. 

yoooo same goes for twin gay poppie popper panty droppers--evan and jaron: 

REEEEEEAAAALLLLLLY hope that Tia and Tamara Mowry get back to us soon about MCing the event...I think that their 6 yr stint on the show "Sister, Sister" will marry all of the present themes here quite nicely. 

REEEEEEAAAAALLLLLY hope that the two are not still at odds because everyone knew that Tia was always the "pretty one" : / 

What should we have playing on mute in the background for aesthetic purposes?

TWINS?


OR 

TWIN PEAKS????

                  comment with other suggestions...lets make this the best CMJ ever!!!!! xoxoxox

tattuesday!!!!

tattoos + tuesday = tattuesday...did i not make that clear? oh i did? i didn't have to explain it? oh ok explaining it makes it less funny? ok sry : /

CUTE!!!!

OOOooOOOoooOO Gurl U better WORK!!!!

now thats just rude, mr.!!!

totally relevant and resourceful!

totally non-relevant and a playground for pedophiles! 

Shit I am forced to look at while I "legally" streaM tv online 4 free

its starts out all sweet..."crushes" and "real love"

quickly it turned into the "American Boner" and "Buttz"

of course I clicked on every advertisement...how could I not? 

both my computer and my soul caught viruses : / 

the moral of this story is...

ONLINE T.V. MAY BE FREE 4 NOW,  BUTT U'LL PAY 4 IT LATER IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUSIC MATH // MUSIC MUNDAY

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